What Ad Agencies' Job Openings Are Really Saying

Creative Director, Design — Our art directors are too jaded to talk to clients.

Creative Director, Copy — Our copywriters are too tired to lead.

Copywriter — We need you’re help.

Art Director — We just burned out someone like you.

Account Manager — We just fired someone like you.

Senior Account Manager — Someone like you just left to start “their own thing”.

Biz Dev — We killed all of our client relationships dead.

Community Manager — We’re at least savvy enough to not mention “Social Media” in a job title.

Social Media Manager — We also talk about SEO.

Digital Strategist — The partners know nothing about computers.

Digital Producer — The account team knows nothing about computers.

Interactive Designer — The creative team knows nothing about computers.

HTML5 Developer — Nobody here knows anything about computers.

Flash Developer — We forgot to update our job listings. Since 2009.

Lead Developer — The development team is mostly college kids.

Front-end Developer — Our engineers hate our creative team.

Engineer — We’re building innovative applications. On Facebook.

Full-stack Developer — Someone here reads Hacker News.

Content Strategist — Someone here reads A List Apart.

UX Director — Someone here read Don’t Make Me Think.

Producer — We love TV.

Senior Editor — We love Vimeo.

Junior Editor — We love Youtube.

Project Manager — We need a common enemy to keep things running smoothly around here.

Office Manager — We need a babysitter.

Intern — We need this place to look full when clients come around.

This is a pretty obvious satire, but looking at other agencies’ job listings has become a sort of pastime of mine. Imagining the internal shenanigans that led to a their search is great fun.

Thankfully, when I’ve had to put listings out there, it’s always been “there’s too much damn work”, a good problem to have, and nothing nearly as sinister or desperate as the above.

So, speaking of which: We’re hiring.

I hope you enjoyed this blog post. It’s not the only one! Please enjoy reading another from the list of selected posts below. You can see all my posts here.

How much does it cost to sell stuff online?

Looking at the current state of consumer ecomm fees.


Introducing a new tool for Responsive Design.

Anxiety Debt

Mental overhead from our digital social lives is getting us down.

Three from Last Week

Company retreats, client projects and babaganouj.

For the Love of the URL

A love letter to the endangered visible URL.

The Internet is a Mirror

Reminding myself that the internet is what you make of it.

This Website

Consider this my "About" page.


Motivation, cold weather, and moving to New York City.


The journey can be so addicting, I might never arrive.